Can I Really Be Me?

All of this talk of the “gay community” really got me intrigued.  I’m not sure it was something I ever really wanted to be a member of or be recognized as a part of but eventually I would dip my feet in the water and the temperature was pretty cold so to speak.


Living and growing up in Kentucky being gay was really not ever an option.  It was something that was not only frowned upon by parents and other very close family members but it was also something that was constantly made fun of by members of the community and so called friends.

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The Online Journey Begins…

The online journey was one that starts out at innocent as any other path that leads our lives astray.  My online experience was just that, seemingly harmless at first but in the long run it ended up hurting lots of people along the way.

I started online by simply searching out porn and like I mentioned in a previous post nothing i found was really for me.  There were a slew of gross acts i found neither appealing or attractive and my opinion of that kind of lifestyle became what I saw in the gutter of the internet.

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The Journey Begins

And so my journey began.  It had been 11 long years with a partner that seemed to have little to no emotions.  Sexually things had tailed off long ago.

She never initiated and really only desired sex after she’d had a few glasses of wine or a puff or two off of a joint.  That’s when she’d get frisky if ever.  Often I would try and spark a rendezvous with her but she had excuse after excuse after excuse.

  1. My Belly Hurts
  2. My Head Hurts
  3. My Vagina is Sore
  4. My Vagina is Sensitive
  5. I think I might need to poop

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So I Said It

I never really had that “oh I’m so in love” floating on a cloud feeling with girls through school.  Maybe it was me or maybe it was that I just hadn’t found the right one yet I’m not sure but either way I didn’t have my eye on any other prize. I even had full access to limo service as a teenager and I know I could have done pretty much anything i wanted to do in the back of one of those things.

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